Narcissistic Abuse Signs & Recovery in Spokane Valley
Narcissistic abuse refers to a pattern of manipulative and controlling behaviors inflicted by narcissistic individuals on their victims, causing emotional, mental, and sometimes physical harm.
Clinically Reviewed by Lauren Barry, LMFT, MCAP, QS
Medically Reviewed by Ali Nikbakht, PsyD
Updated on January 10, 2026 — Editorial Policy | Research Policy

It can be difficult to identify narcissistic abuse at first because it combines psychological and emotional abuse. It often starts out with love and charm, which makes it harder to understand when things get painful. A lot of people feel like their mental health, personality, and confidence are slowly being slowly taken away.
If you or someone you care about is living with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), you’re not alone. We Level Up Washington provides compassionate, structured care to help people heal from narcissistic abuse.
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Table of Contents
Understanding Narcissistic Abuse
A person with narcissistic traits uses a pattern of manipulative behaviors called narcissistic abuse to dominate and control others. People who are in good relationships often abuse each other in this way. It can happen at work, with family or friends, or even in the bedroom.
The abuser may appear charismatic and loving in public. At home or behind closed doors, their behavior can be deeply damaging. In case of domestic narcissistic abuse, one can reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
The damage isn’t necessarily apparent or physical. It could be small remarks, mind games, or trying to make the other person feel guilty or confused.

Signs of Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse can look different in each relationship. However, there are common signs of narcissistic abuse that often appear.
You might notice:
- Experiencing emotional ups and downs that leave you tired (love bombing).
- Being blamed often for things you didn’t do or can’t control.
- A lack of empathy, where your feelings are ignored or belittled.
- Verbal abuse and jokes that feel hurtful and personal.
- Feeling guilty for expressing your needs or setting limits.
- Feeling cut off from friends and family members.
- Always doubting your memory or experiences.

What is Narcissistic Abuse Cycle?
The narcissistic abuse cycle is a repeated pattern of narcissistic behavior that keeps the victim emotionally trapped. It is built on manipulation, control, and emotional confusion.
There are generally four stages in the narcissistic abuse cycle.
- The first stage is idealization. In this phase, the abuser acts perfectly. They may shower you with constant compliments, agree with your ideas, and appear genuinely interested in your happiness. You could think you’ve found someone who really gets you.
- The second stage is devaluation. Suddenly, the affection is gone. Criticism takes the place of compliments. You may feel as though nothing you do is correct.
The abuser could say mean things about you, compare you to other people, or mentally pull away from you. You start to feel hurt and confused because you don’t know where the person you loved went.
- The third stage is when the abuser pulls away. They may do this emotionally or physically. They might give you the silent treatment or act cold and indifferent. Sometimes, they may even end the relationship altogether. This sudden rejection can leave the victim in a state of shock. They often feel desperate to win back the abuser’s approval.
- Many people refer to the fourth stage as “hoovering.” Abusers might offer gifts, say sorry, or promise to change when you start to heal or move on. By getting you back together, the goal is to keep the circle going.
This loop can occur multiple times. Most of the time, emotional abuse gets worse with each round. Over time, you might lose your sense of who you are.
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FREE 24/7 Dual Diagnosis Mental Health Services HotlineWhat Is Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome?
Narcissistic abuse syndrome refers to the emotional damage from long-term manipulation. Survivors often feel fear, shame, or confusion. Many people also feel scared, sad, or as though they can’t trust others. It’s normal to feel this way after being mentally harmed or controlled for a long time.
Sleep, attention, and relationships can all be affected by this syndrome. People who have been abused often blame themselves for what happened. Many people are unaware of their worth or identity.
Effects of Narcissistic Abuse
Victims of narcissistic abuse may face:
- Flashbacks to specific painful interactions
- Ongoing anxiety or constant worry
- Depression or a deep sense of hopelessness
- Difficulty making decisions
- Trouble trusting your judgment
- Low self-worth or self-loathing
- Feeling numb
- Trouble sleeping
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Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
You can heal after being abused by a narcissist. It takes time and the proper support. To recover, you must learn to handle selfish people. Don’t just forget what happened.
Everyone heals from narcissistic abuse in their own way, but here are some clues that you’re healing.
- Start by acknowledging what happened. Recognizing the abuse is an important first step. You might want to downplay what happened or blame yourself. Try to resist this urge. Your feelings and experiences are real and valid.
- Set boundaries. Boundaries help you take back control of your time, energy, and feelings.
- Reach out to mental health professionals. You don’t have to go through this by yourself. Talk to others about your mental health issues.
- Focus on self-care in a meaningful way. This means noticing what your body and mind truly need. This could be journaling, taking long walks, enjoying nature, or picking up old hobbies that made you happy.
- Consider working with a trauma-informed therapist. Therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy and EMDR can help survivors regain control over their emotions and thoughts.
Why Choose We Level Up?
Narcissistic abuse recovery helps heal emotional pain. Our team supports survivors in building safety and trust. Therapy provides tools to rebuild self-worth and set healthy boundaries. You will learn how to protect yourself from further harm.
We offer supportive programs for survivors of emotional abuse. Treatment includes counseling, coping skills, and alumni support. Each plan is tailored to meet your personal needs and goals. Our team guides you through every step of recovery.
We utilize trauma-focused therapy to aid survivors in their healing process. This therapy teaches ways to manage stress and painful memories. We also use cognitive behavioral therapy to challenge negative thoughts. Survivors learn how to rebuild strong and healthy beliefs.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
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How can I tell if I’m stuck in an endless cycle of narcissistic abuse?
If your relationship feels like a rollercoaster, you may be stuck. One day you get praise, and the next day you face criticism. If you feel drained or unsure about yourself, this cycle can be complex to change.
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How long does recovery from narcissistic abuse take?
Some people feel better after a few months. Others may take years to heal. It depends on how long and severe the abuse was.
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Can I have a relationship with a narcissistic partner?
A relationship with a narcissistic partner is often not healthy. An abusive relationship can form quickly. Their harmful behavior creates fear, confusion, and emotional stress.
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Where can I seek therapy for narcissistic abuse in Washington?
If you are in Washington and need support, the We Level Up Washington team is here to help. They provide caring, trauma-informed care for people healing from narcissistic abuse.
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Why do I feel so confused after being with a narcissist?
Narcissists often twist facts and make you doubt yourself. People call this gaslighting. It can make you feel lost or unsure about what’s real.
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How do I set boundaries with a narcissist?
Be clear and calm. Say what you will and won’t allow, and don’t change your limits even if they get upset.
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Is it my fault that the narcissist mistreats me?
No, it’s not your fault. Their actions come from their own issues, not from anything you did.
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Why is a narcissistic relationship unsafe?
A narcissistic relationship becomes unsafe when a narcissist manipulates your feelings and control. Their abusive behavior hurts your confidence and stability, making it hard to feel safe.
Readings
External Resources
- CASA: Effects of Narcissistic Abuse
- NIH: Recognizing Narcissistic Abuse
- End & Heal from Narcissistic Abuse
Internal Resources
Conclusion
Being abused by a narcissist can feel like you are trapped in a dream. You may not know how to escape. However, you can break free from this cycle. With the right help, guidance, and tools, you can heal from the pain. You can start living a life that feels like your own again.
We Level Up Washington is here to help you at every step. We want to hear your thoughts and ideas. Call us right away if you or someone you care about is facing abuse from a narcissist. We can help you begin to heal.
Call us today to talk with our team. We Level Up Washington: (509) 348-4077. Your next step starts here.