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Why Do People Self Harm?

Far from seeking attention or taking part in a fleeting trend, those who engage in self-harm often grapple with deep emotional pain. This article delves into the perplexing realm of self-harm, exploring its symptoms and seeking to shed light on the underlying causes that drive individuals to harm themselves.



By We Level Up Editorial Team | Edited By Rebecca Hill | Medically Reviewed By Dr. Chris Small


Self-Harm and Mental Health Treatment in Washington

Self harm, also called self injury or self cutting, is when someone deliberately causes physical harm to themselves without suicidal intent. While this behavior may seem confusing or alarming to others, it often serves as a coping mechanism for people experiencing intense emotional distress.

People may self harm to:

  • Cope with painful emotions like sadness, anxiety, guilt, or emptiness
  • Regain a sense of control when life feels chaotic
  • Transform internal emotional pain into external physical pain
  • Punish themselves when overwhelmed by shame or self-hatred
  • Communicate distress when words fail

Though cutting is commonly associated with self harm, there are many other methods, such as burning, hitting, scratching, or interfering with wound healing. These actions often become part of a repetitive pattern that can be difficult to break without support. Substance abuse increases the risk of self harm.

What Causes Self Harm?

Emotional Relief and Regulation

When emotional pain becomes too overwhelming, physical pain may feel like a release. The body can respond to injury by releasing endorphins, which are chemicals that temporarily relieve pain and improve mood. For some, this momentary relief reinforces the harmful behavior.

Numbness or Emotional Detachment

Some individuals experience emotional numbness or disconnection, especially after trauma. Self harm may be used to feel something real, even if it’s painful, as a way to reconnect with their body and emotions.

Self Punishment

Those living with depression, PTSD, or low self-esteem often feel like they deserve to suffer. Self harm may become a way to express that inner belief.

Communication Without Words

People may not have the language or tools to describe what they’re feeling. Self harm can act as a visual signal to others that something is wrong, even when the person doesn’t consciously want to reach out for help.

Environmental and Social Triggers

A person may be more likely to self harm due to:

  • Past trauma or abuse
  • Bullying, isolation, or rejection (particularly in young people)
  • Mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, or autism
  • Influence from peers or social media
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Holding Hands
Holding Hands

Why Do People Self Harm When Depressed?

Depression often brings unbearable emotional pain, hopelessness, and intense self-criticism. These feelings can lead someone to self harm as a way to cope or feel relief. In many cases, it’s not a desire to die, but rather an effort to find a temporary way to survive deeply painful thoughts.

Common Self Harm Behaviors

Self harm can include:

  • Cutting the skin with sharp objects
  • Burning the skin with heat or chemicals
  • Punching oneself or objects
  • Scratching, picking at wounds, or interfering with healing
  • Pulling hair
  • Inserting objects under the skin
  • Head-banging or breaking bones
  • Attempting suicide

Some people create rituals around these actions, using specific tools or settings. These routines can make it harder to stop.

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Who Is Most at Risk?

Self harm affects people from all walks of life, but certain populations are more vulnerable:

People with difficulties expressing or regulating emotions

  • Teens and young adults (ages 12 to 24)
  • People with mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, eating disorders, or PTSD
  • Those who have experienced childhood trauma or abuse
  • Individuals who feel isolated, unsupported, or rejected
  • LGBTQ+ youth facing stigma or lack of family acceptance

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How the Cycle Continues

Self harm tends to follow a repeated pattern:

  1. A triggering event or thought causes emotional distress
  2. The person self-harms to release or escape the feelings
  3. Temporary relief is followed by guilt or shame
  4. Feelings of secrecy, isolation, and emotional pain increase
  5. The cycle begins again

Some people use self-harm to avoid suicidal thoughts, seeing it as a way to manage pain without ending their life. But over time, the behavior can become more dangerous.

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Dangers of Self Harm

The risks include:

  • Infections, permanent scarring, and accidental severe injuries
  • Increased feelings of shame, isolation, and hopelessness
  • Escalation in frequency or severity of the behavior
  • Stronger risk of suicidal thoughts or suicide attempts in the future

Even when someone doesn’t intend to die, self harm can become life-threatening over time. It’s a signal that deeper emotional support is needed.

Healthier Coping Alternatives

When someone feels the urge to self harm, safer strategies may help reduce the intensity of their emotions. These include:

Short-Term Strategies

  • Holding ice cubes or using cold compresses
  • Drawing on the skin with washable markers
  • Snapping a rubber band on the wrist
  • Grounding exercises such as deep breathing, sensory lists, or mindfulness
  • Physical movement like walking, running, or yoga
  • Calling a trusted friend or helpline

Long-Term Healing

  • Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to reframe thought patterns
  • Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) to build distress tolerance and emotion regulation
  • Medication to treat underlying mental health problems
  • Joining a support group for shared connection
  • Journaling to explore emotions and triggers
  • Learning coping skills and identifying and expressing feelings in healthy ways

With time, these strategies can replace self-harm and build a more stable emotional foundation.

When to Seek Professional Help

It’s time to reach out if you or someone you care about:

  • Regularly uses self harm to cope with stress or emotional pain
  • Feels unable to control urges to harm themselves
  • Has thoughts of suicide or hopelessness
  • Is hiding injuries or withdrawing from others
  • Wants to stop but doesn’t know how

A mental health professional can help develop a plan to understand the root causes and replace self harm with healthier ways of coping.

Where to Find Help Near Spokane Valley, Washington

Where in Spokane Valley, Washington can you find treatment for self harm?

We Level Up Washington provides professional mental health support for individuals struggling with self harm, depression, and trauma. Our Spokane Valley facility offers evidence-based talk therapies, compassionate care, and individualized treatment plans to help clients understand and heal from self-injury.

Where nearby can you find treatment for self harm?

If you’re in surrounding areas like Spokane, Post Falls, or Coeur d’Alene, We Level Up Washington is a short drive away and offers the same level of personalized care. Our team supports adults with a range of mental health conditions. Our treatment plans are designed to promote lasting recovery.

  1. Why do people self harm when they are depressed?

    Depression can overwhelm a person’s emotional system. Self harm sometimes feels like a release from guilt, sadness, or emotional numbness.

  2. Why do people self harm when they are sad?

    Sadness that feels unmanageable can push someone to self harm to gain temporary relief or to experience a physical outlet for emotional pain.

  3. What is self cutting?

    Self cutting is a form of non-suicidal self injury where a person uses sharp objects to make cuts on their skin. It is one of the most common methods of self harm.

  4. What causes thoughts of self harm?

    Thoughts of self harm often stem from intense emotional pain, trauma, shame, or a lack of healthy coping mechanisms. They may also occur alongside depression, anxiety, or personality disorders.

  5. Can depression alone cause self harm?

    Yes. While not everyone with depression self harms, the condition’s symptoms—hopelessness, guilt, and emotional pain—can drive some people to use self harm as a way to cope.

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A Path Toward Healing

If you or a loved one is struggling with self-harm, you are not alone. These behaviors do not define who you are, and they don’t have to last forever. With compassionate care and the right support, healing is absolutely possible.

At We Level Up Washington, we specialize in helping individuals understand the deeper causes of self harm and develop healthier ways to cope. Whether you’re from Spokane Valley or a nearby city, our team is here to support your journey to recovery.

Call today to speak with our team and learn more about our programs. We Level Up Washington: (509) 348-4077. Your next step starts here.

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