How to Help Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

Being around and caring for someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be overwhelming. You may be unfamiliar with the intense mood swings, sudden shifts in thoughts and emotions, and periods of heightened excitement that often accompany the condition.

BPD is a mental health disorder that deeply affects how a person sees themselves, manages emotions, and relates to others. It is far more than a simple overreaction; it can profoundly impact daily life, relationships, and self-esteem.

People with BPD may experience impulsivity, fears of abandonment, unstable relationships, and a persistent sense of emptiness. Even minor situations can sometimes feel unmanageable. At the same time, many individuals with BPD possess remarkable empathy, creativity, and sensitivity, which can greatly enrich relationships when nurtured.

Unfortunately, stigma and misunderstanding often lead friends and family members to distance themselves. With the right support, however, the impact can be life-changing.

This guide offers practical steps for supporting a loved one with BPD. We discuss how you can be a good partner, close friend, or family member, while also protecting your own happiness and sanity. Healing is possible and relationships can strengthen over time when you have the right information and right help.

Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

BPD is characterized by the following.

1. Mood swings
2. Impulsive behavior
3. Fear of abandonment
4. Intense emotional responses
5. Unstable relationships between people
6. Feeling empty

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), BPD is among the most stigmatized and misunderstood mental health conditions. Individuals may struggle to control their thoughts and feelings, which can affect every aspect of life — work, relationships, and self-esteem. In many cases, those with BPD have been abused or neglected in the past, which can shape their coping patterns.

How to Help Someone with BPD

Helping someone with BPD requires both compassion and boundaries. This is how to help someone with borderline personality disorder effectively.

1. Educate Yourself

Understanding the condition is the first step. Read up on BPD from reliable sources, attend support groups, or speak with a mental health professional. The more informed you are, the better equipped you are to assist.

2. Practice Empathy, Not Judgment

It might be difficult to understand their actions; however, it is essential to keep in mind that individuals with BPD usually have a lot of emotional pain. Empathy may help them feel understood and accepted.

3. Set Healthy Boundaries

On the one hand, you have to support them, but on the other hand, you have to take care of yourself and your mental health. Set boundaries with your loved one about acceptable behavior. Be consistent in your expectations and refuse to go back on your word.

4. Don’t Take It Personally

Those with BPD can express hurtful words in their emotional explosions. Be aware that most of the time, they are experiencing inner turmoil, and what they say is not necessarily what they feel about you.

How to Help Someone with BPD During an Episode

BPD episodes are hard on the sufferer and the people who love them. These are some types of therapy to deal with BPD during an episode.

1. Stay calm. Your gentle presence can help de-escalate the situation.
2. Acknowledge their emotions, even when you don’t fully understand them.
3. Avoid raising your voice or becoming confrontational.
4. Give them space if they ask for it.
5. Encourage grounding techniques such as breathing exercises or counting.

What Not to Do

1. Don’t tell them they’re being dramatic or overreacting.
2. Avoid using guilt to control their destructive behavior.
3. Don’t try to diagnose or “fix” them yourself.
4. Avoid engaging in arguments when emotions are high.

How to Explain BPD to Someone Who Doesn’t Have It

It is pretty challenging to explain BPD to an unaffected person. Try using comparisons:

“It’s like being on a rollercoaster of emotions you can’t get off.”

Support your explanation with educational materials about BPD that can be found in reputable organizations, such as the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Maintain a compassionate tone and avoid using absolutes.

Creating a Supportive Environment

Be Patient

BPD is treatable, though healing takes some time.

Encourage Self-Care

Propose such activities as exercise, journaling, or art in order to deal with emotional outbursts.

Promote Healthy Relationships

Help them identify toxic relationships and create healthy social relationships.

High-Risk Behaviors to Watch For

Watch out for warning signs indicating that they are in a grave situation:

1. Talk of suicidal ideation or self-harm
2. A history of suicide attempts
3. Substance abuse
4. Sudden withdrawal from others

These are risk factors that indicate a mental health crisis. In case you are worried, talk to a mental health professional or call 911 as quickly as you can.

Treatment Planning and Long-Term Support

To take care of a person with BPD is to think long-term. Help them:

1. Stick to therapy appointments
2. Take prescribed medications (if any)
3. Follow through with treatment planning

Also, make sure you have your own support. Find others that will help you and then join, seek counseling, or even talk to other people who are assisting someone who has BPD.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Final Thoughts

Supporting someone with BPD requires patience, education, and resilience. It becomes emotionally demanding at times, but it is also a process of development, compassion, and closeness. Mental disorders such as borderline personality disorder should not determine the value and accomplishments of an individual.

BPD patients can live healthy, balanced lives with positive support systems, proper resources, and evidence-based care, such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). You will never know; a little kind gesture shown by a friend or a member of your family can have an impression that will last a long time. Healing happens in relationships built on understanding and trust.

When you or your loved one in and around Spokane Valley, WA, has BPD issues, contact We Level Up Washington. We are here to guide you through this process with hope, care, and professionalism.

Summary

Call today to speak with our team and learn more about our programs. We Level Up Washington: (509) 348-4077. Your next step starts here.